If you have a Thai Wife or Girlfriend you don't need to read this but you are welcome to do so if you wish. Comments are welcome and will be published if they don’t contain too many expletives.
If you come to Thailand and are after the full package a new lifestyle and a new partner married or unmarried then here is a little bit of advice gained from personal experience and from the experiences of Guys who I know or have written to me by e-mail.
Ninety per cent of Guys seem to meet their spouse or Girlfriend in a bar, in other words they are Bar Girls. In principle there is nothing wrong with that so long as you understand the culture and the mentality of most Bar Girls and how it will affect you.
Why do so many Guys end up with Bar Girls and why do they so often fail to understand them?
Most Bar girls in Thailand work on a freelance basis. They can speak some English or they soon learn it, their long term objective is very simple, find a foreigner and get him to keep her and if possible her family, her child, and in some cases her husband!!!
These are their primary considerations and no matter how ugly or how old you are. Thai Girls will certainly consider you as a partner if you have disposable income sufficient enough to fit the above objectives. Should you have some liquidity in the form of capital they will find various ways for you to dispose of it, usually you will be strongly encouraged to purchase in their name such things as pick-up trucks, houses, motorcycles, and cellular phones. Later you will be further asked to marry them and to pay a dowry to the parents. This can range from one to ten thousand pounds ($1600 to $16,000) or more depending on the qualities they possess. Such things as beauty, education, age all affect the amount. If you are rich and or have a considerable income then you may pay less in the short term regarding the dowery but you may be expected to contribute more to the family in the future.Nothing wrong with the above if you think about it in an objective way.
Thailand is a matriarchal society in which Women often do all or most of the work, Men and Boys on the other hand are often spoilt rotten especially in the workling classes. In a minority of cases men are interested only in sleeping and drinking. Thai whisky and the hammock soon becomes a way of life. In working class families women are in charge of the money and of looking after their parents who often “retire” once the daughters in the family are working. Thailand has no unemployment allowance or social security and no real pension other than those provided to retired government employees and those fortunate enough to have private pensions. Parents often marry off their daughters at a very young age in consideration of a dowry payment. The marriage is usually only a Buddhist ceremony, not legal or binding It is not a Government recognized form of marriage. There is an official marriage process but this route is often avoided because it is not flexible and cannot be changed without the consent of both parties (Man and Wife). Using the ceremony only process the bride can easily re-marry again in the future and the parents can collect another dowry, nice work if you can get it!!! Still nothing wrong with the above so long as you understand it.
You have to accept that all the above is the norm. Thai Bar Girls and Woman are not bad people, they are for the most part not money grabbing two timing schemers. They are simply operating in a normally accepted way in which their parents would be proud of them. They are getting in the cash, the goods, the fundamentals of life. This is their role, their job. It is what is expected and often demanded of them by parents who believe that the job of parenthood has to be rewarded in kind by the children, mostly by the female offspring but occasionally boys will also contribute to the parents if there are no Girls.
A Bar Girls understanding of Men is incredibly simple Men (Farrangs) = Money, the depth of this perception depends on the time served in their chosen or forced occupation. Many Bar Girls will tell you they have to do the job because they need money for their parents. This may be true to a certain extent and in some cases completely true because the parents have debt, or are looking after the Girls child or children and or the Girls former or current husband. Many foreigners are shocked to find that the Bar girl they are living with has a husband she is keeping, as well a two or more children and, her parents!!!!!!!!
Thai Woman and Girls are absolutely no different from ethnic European or American Woman, there are the good the bad and the ugly. What is different is culture and culturally they are literally thousands of miles apart. Our basic advise, Get over it, understand it, and then use it to your advantage, its not rocket science, its pretty basic stuff, problem is you have to think without the intervention of you reproductive organ, not easy when you are with a gorgeous Girl half, or less than half your age and your dream of sexual bliss is about to be interrupted by argument and displeasure from your partner over money. However, if you are not up to the job of getting control of the situation, you’ll get burned, hurt and ultimately loose all that you have acquired. When that happens your sexy little Bar Girl will be forced to leave you and try to find fresh sources of income. This will happen no matter how much she might be fond of you or even love you. Her instinct, her culture and her parents will be saying “Move on” find the money.
There are perhaps two other ways to be satisfied and content with a partner in Thailand. First one is simplicity itself, bring a Woman or Girlfriend with you to Thailand, in which case you don’t and won’t have a Bar Girl problem. The other solution is also very very simple, DO NOT GO OUT WITH BAR GIRLS unless it’s for a one night stand.
Some Guys have wised up to the fact that the overwhelming majority of Woman and girls in Thailand are in fact not Bar Girls, they are just normal Girls. It’s true to say that they don’t or are very shy about speaking English. That presents a small problem because most foreigners don’t speak Thai.
I recommend that you take your time, find a Girl who you are attracted to, speak to her a little bit at a time, throw in a bit of Thai which you can easily learn and try to gain her confidence. In a short time you can legitimately ask her out, don’t be worried about an age difference or the fact you are a bit of an old snake head, smile a lot, be nice, try to be funny, be very polite, respect everyone, this goes a long way with Thai people. In no time you will be ready to take it further. The basic matriarchal culture will still be in place and you may still find yourself the object of a persistent and demanding woman but if you choose carefully you’ll have a good chance of an even start and the possibility of happiness will be improved ten fold. Don’t rush in were angels fear to tread, be cautious, use your brain rather than you organ to make rational decisions. Don’t buy anything in your Girls name, DON’T whatever they tell you. (We can and will give you information about this). It’s the same as giving away all four aces in a game of cards. Be useful to your Girl and she in turn will appreciate you more and make you happy.
Please, after reading the above don't think Thai's are bad people, they are not, their culture is different and we have to "do in Rome as the Romans do" OK.
Below some nice looking Thai Girls for your perusal, The are part of the beauty of Thailand, enjoy their images and, enjoy Thailand. Its a great country, its not only about "Bar Girls" and Getting Drunk every night. Thailand has a lot to offer, be modest, be moderate, learn about the culture and you will have a great time !!!!!!!!!!!
NB: Some persons with less than the average IQ seem to have decided that any web site containing images of "Girls" must be trying to sell them. To the dozens of Men who have written in asking us to get them Thai Girls or even sell them Thai Girls, PLEASE take the time to read the text and give yourselves a chance. The above is a sincere attempt to save you from becoming a victim. As they say in London "Get real"!!!!!!!!
The young woman depicted in this image is not known to us she is therefore to all intents a fine healthy and honest woman
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